CyleYoung.com

Intentional Parenting (Sports – Church – Life)

‘Did Baby Jesus Wear Diapers?’

did-baby-jesus-wear-diapers-arti.ashxWhen my niece Allie was 5, she frequently asked me imaginative questions about God. One day Allie arranged a pastoral ministry session for me. I waited on the front steps of her house while she gathered several of her friends. A study group gathered, and Allie announced, “My uncle is a preacher, and he can tell you what kinds of ice cream there will be in heaven.”

I forced back laughter as the little faces turned toward me. Their expressions seemed to say, “Tell us, grown-up, and we will receive your words! What kind of ice cream will we have in heaven?”

My heart just about melted, and my brain fumbled for an answer. I thought about what a privilege it was that, at least for a season, I was the go-to person whenever my niece had a question about God or theology.

The questions children ask often make us smile, but consider this: Becoming the Christian Wikipedia for your kids is a God-ordained privilege and an opportunity to build relationships with your kids. Remember that when you’re presented with questions like these: “Did baby Jesus wear diapers?”; “In Sunday school we read, ‘I will remember their sins no more.’ How can that be if God knows everything?”

You can effectively click here for more…

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The Discipline Checkup

discipline-checkup-arti.ashxWhen our children were young, Barb and I quickly learned that parenting skills were not intuitive or inherited, so we sought mentors who could help us. Bill and Jane, a couple in our church, the parents of five wonderful daughters, agreed to share dinner with us once a month to discuss parenting issues. I remember the evening that Bill and Jane taught us about what they called “effective discipline.”

Bill explained that discipline comes from the root word disciple and means “to teach or to coach.” It means teaching appropriate and biblical thinking and behavior. On the other hand, he said that punish means “to correct” or “to chastise.”

When used effectively, punishment always supports discipline. Inappropriate punishment, however, can cause confusion for the child and results in little or no discipline. The goal of parenting is to equip children with what they need to be successful, satisfied and spiritually mature adults. It’s through discipline that we equip our kids by teaching them such things as the critical correlation between choices and consequences, the principles of responsibility and accountability, and biblical ways to deal with problems and frustrations.

Assess your current methods. The following six questions are designed to get you thinking about how you discipline. As you consider each question, your honest reflection can help you fine-tune your methods — or reassure you that you’re already headed in the right direction. Click here for more.

Why Children Need The Sabbath

5_3_Home_Why_Your_Children_Need_the_Sabbath__122016126My oldest son started high school this fall. At his orientation, the counselors spoke to parents about the greatest challenge they see students face in school.

I expected to hear about poor study habits or substance abuse, but to my initial surprise, these were not at the top of the list. Apparently, the greatest challenge presenting itself in the office of the high school guidance counselor is a growing number of kids struggling with anxiety and depression.

Can you guess why? Click here for more…

The Power of 5

This week, I am rocking it out to “dubstep” worship music at a ministry conference in Atlanta, Georgia. If you don’t know what dubstep is, you are either old, boring, or my own mother. (Just Kidding) 

During this conference, we continue to review a statistic that came from two national surveys a few years back from Rethink and Lifeway. Those studies examined adults who stayed in church after they grew up in the church.

The studies showed that for the majority of adults who continued in their relationship with Christ past adolescence and beyond high school, each had 5 adults who they were in relationship with. These adults served as mentors, teachers, pastors, etc. in the ministry of the local church and beyond. These people modeled a proper relationship with Christ and most importantly, they allowed children and teens to feel accepted and feel worth something in the world.

These 5+ leaders don’t have to be at the same time but over the course of a child/teen’s time in church they need to have had significant relationships with 5 or more adults.

Parents make a list of small group leaders, teachers, pastors, mentors, etc. that pour into the life of each of your children. Are your children on track with having enough Godly influence in their life to support their spiritual development and upbringing?

 

This week, I am rocking it out to “dubstep” worship music at a ministry conference in Atlanta, Georgia. If you don’t know what dubstep is, you are either old, boring, or my own mother. (Just Kidding) 
During this conference, we continue to review a statistic that came from two national surveys a few years back from Rethink and Lifeway. Those studies examined adults who stayed in church after they grew up in the church.
The studies showed that for the majority of adults who continued in their relationship with Christ past adolescence and beyond high school, each had 5 adults who they were in relationship with. These adults served as mentors, teachers, pastors, etc. in the ministry of the local church and beyond. These people modeled a proper relationship with Christ and most importantly, they allowed children and teens to feel accepted and feel worth something in the world.
These 5+ leaders don’t have to be at the same time but over the course of a child/teen’s time in church they need to have had significant relationships with 5 or more adults.
Parents make a list of small group leaders, teachers, pastors, mentors, etc. that pour into the life of each of your children. Are your children on track with having enough Godly influence in their life to support their spiritual development and upbringing?

 

The Mommy First Rule

IMG_1478Who do you kiss goodbye first when you leave your house each day?

For children to understand love, they must understand they are loved by their parents and they are loved by God. Most parents inherently do a good job of loving their children. And many do a good job of explaining to their children that God loves them, but where I have seen many parents fall short; even myself at times, is making sure I constantly display my love for my wife Patty in front of my children. That’s the reason for the MOMMY FIRST RULE!

I need to make sure as a parent that my wife always comes first before my children, and I need to display this in front of them. When I walk in the door after work I am almost always greeted by two excited and exuberant children. It is natural to embrace them, hug them, kiss them, and revel in the passion they have for sharing their love for me. But when I do this, it is a detriment to keeping Patty and my love for her as priority over my love for my children. Carver, Cyleigh, and Carrick are a byproduct of my love for Patty. And as as much as I love them, Patty was there before they came into the world and she will still be there when they leave our house when they grow up.

I need to always show my love for Patty to my children, and they need to know that I, as their Father, have proper priorities. I am not perfect at it because many times it is extremely inconvenient, but I greet Patty and say goodbye to her first, before I embrace my children. When they are excited, I say to them, MOMMY FIRST! This helps establish the natural order of relationship for my children and helps to model how their relationship priorities should be in their marriage one day. After I greet Patty, with a hug or kiss, I greet my children and enjoy everything that comes with their excitement, most generally lots of tickling. J

I encourage you to adopt the MOMMY FIRST RULE in your home. I know this can be easy for some and very difficult for others, especially families where the parents are only staying together for the sake of their children. I will discuss more on those difficulties in my next post in a few days.

I also will post an additional post about the DADDY FIRST RULE for stay at home dad’s and families with working moms.

Free Retreat for Pastors/Missionaries

joshua placeJoshua Place Celebrates its First Anniversary!!

(Cue spontaneous applause and wild jubilation)

First of all, a hearty thank you for your stay at The Joshua Place last year. In so doing, you helped fulfill our mission, which is to provide a haven of rest and relaxation for Christian leaders and their families.

We happily celebrated our first-year anniversary this January. In our inaugural year we welcomed twenty-five guests–missionaries, church leaders and pastors–from the northeast Ohio region and as far away as North Carolina! All who stayed expressed their sincere gratitude for the chance to relax, restore, and renew in such warm, tranquil surroundings.

We are currently accepting reservations for 2013 and offer you the opportunity to return for a second visit. Our doors will stay open and the lights on as long as God sends us guests to bless and serve.

We rely on referrals, visitors, and donations to fulfill this ministry. So please tell others about us and feel free to forward this email and our website (http://www.thejoshuaplace.org) to pastors, missionaries and leaders of faith-based non-profit Christian organizations. Our goal is to book The Joshua Place for __ weeks in 2013. Help us accomplish this!

We hope you will join us again, and spread the word about us. Blessings on you and your service to Christ and His Kingdom.

Sincerely,

Jessica Wallbrown & The Joshua Place Board of Directors Executive Director

1174 Watson Rd ! Deerfield OH 44411 ! 330.217.5884   http://www.thejoshuaplace.org

Our Mission
To provide a lakeside retreat to non-profit faith based leaders and their families to restore, relax, renew.

To offer support, encouragement and strength through confidential counseling and compassionate care. 

Five Steps to Breaking Social Porn Addiction

1131636_79596033If you find that you have an addiction to social pornography, the next step is to deal with it. Here are five steps to try to break its addictive hold on your life.

  1. Pray that God will help you conquer your addiction.
  2. Ask people at home, work, or school to keep you accountable to not accessing as much social media.
  3. Set a limit in the amount of time you feel is appropriate to spend on social media, and once you have reached the limit, quit for the day.
  4. Spend time with real people, face-to-face in the real world, building real relationships.
  5. Substitute your free time with God’s word.

What is Social Pornography? Click Here

Do you have an Addiction to Social Porn? Click Here

Three Steps to Discovering If You Are Addicted to Social Porn

1269437_93098115Here are three ways to find out if you are addicted to social pornography.

  1. Ask close friends or family: This is usually a very quick way to find out. Ask them to be honest, and then ask them directly if they feel you have an addiction to social media.
  2. Ask co-workers: They will know if they interact with you consistently in the course of your workday.  Ask them if they think you spend too much time on social media when you should be working.
  3. Fast: Go an entire day without text, twitter, facebook, etc. and see if you find yourself attempting to check the web, or picking up your phone mindlessly out of habit.

What is Social Pornography? Click Here

Are Christians Drowning in Social Pornography?

566365_25727381Are upwards of 70% of Christians drowning in a quagmire of social pornography?

Hopefully, you agree that pornography is wrong and detrimental to the Christian walk with Christ.  But what about the millions of believers who are addicted to social pornography?

In fact, social pornography is just as damaging to relationships as sexually-based pornography.

According to statistics, 70% of Christian men struggle with pornography. Those struggles ruin marriages by creating unrealistic fantasies that no man or woman can live up to. Pornography is fantasy. This fantasy draws both men and women away from a deep and intimate connection with another human being and pulls them away from scripture based living.

What then is social pornography?

Social pornography is Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr, Google+, MySpace, Twitter, etc. But how can these venues, which have become so established in our day-to-day lives, be aligned with such a gruesome term? Let’s think about it: Pornography is something that exhibits an act with the purpose of eliciting an intense emotional or physical response from a person. In short, pornography is founded upon the concept of “false sexual satisfactions.”

Facebook users log-on daily to read their newsfeeds and status updates.  Many of these newsreels and bits of information from other peoples’ personal lives stem from past relationships. These relationships have either faded from the past, never really developed “offline,” or belong to people we would refer to as “acquaintances”.

It is the personal stories, the “dirt,” and drama that keeps us linked to our cyberspace world. We harbor a longing to semi-regularly log on to stay connected to these mundane life happenings.

This trend seems to affect upper-aged students all the more. Daily many newsfeeds spew the tirades of warring teenagers upset about one another’s status updates.  To analyze these posts even further, one would find that many of these students know little about one another when disconnected from their social media universe.

So, what does “liking statuses,” looking for the latest dirt on my old college roommate, and status bullying have to do with social pornography.

All of these create “false social satisfactions.” The working 20-something who doesn’t get out as much as she used too may now find some satisfaction in feeling connected to her old college friends through reading status updates. The 40-year old who has not shared a compliment to any of his co-workers can rest assured in the fact that he encouraged someone by pressing the “like” button today on an old friend’s status.  And the freshmen who doesn’t have the courage to work out a dispute face-to-face with a peer can now feel pretty good about himself as his status has thoroughly run his adversary through the mud.

“False… social… satisfaction.”

Just as pornography inhibits and many times destroys families, so does social pornography. People struggle to communicate both simple and complex emotions face-to-face. Hard conversations only transpire wirelessly from one portable device or computer to the next.

Social pornography is highly addictive. Persons using social media experience the high of endorphins and dopamine release in the brain. These are the same highs that people using pornography experience. The release of these chemicals by the brain creates an addictive situation for the user.

In a recent survey 68% of respondents were labeled as addicted to social media. For believers, an addiction to any thing or substance is alarming.

Social media is not innately bad, but anything that can master or enslave a person through addiction is harmful and breaks our relationship with Christ. When we become addicted to social media, we begin worshipping it as an idol in our lives. Those idols replace God.

The bible says that everything is lawful or permissible for us as followers of Christ up until the point that we become mastered or enslaved by it.

“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

We need to exhibit the spiritual fruit of self-control in the way that we approach and use social media. We also need to recognize whether we have an addiction to social pornography and take action steps to conquer it.

Even though social media is inviting and allows you to stay connected with the world around you, it also connects you so much with the world that it disconnects you from Jesus. Review your social media habits and reorganize them for Christ.

 

Article co-authored by Ryan Farr

Sports League Sign

Based off of a recent comical sign I saw, I am suggesting this as the wording for signs surrounding the game fields for All Out Sports.

PLEASE REMEMBER:
1) THE ATHLETES ARE ONLY CHILDREN
2) THIS IS A ONLY A GAME
3) THE COACHES ARE VOLUNTEERS
4) THE REFEREES/UMPIRES ARE HUMAN
5) YOU ARE HERE TO SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGE

6) YOU ARE NOT HERE TO ARGUE AND FIGHT

7) LIFE IS NOT FAIR, SOME WIN AND SOME LOSE

What do you think? Should I add or change some of them?

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