The Mommy First Rule

Who do you kiss goodbye first when you leave your house each day?

For children to understand love, they must understand they are loved by their parents and they are loved by God. Most parents inherently do a good job of loving their children. And many do a good job of explaining to their children that God loves them, but where I have seen many parents fall short; even myself at times, is making sure I constantly display my love for my wife Patty in front of my children. That’s the reason for the MOMMY FIRST RULE!

I need to make sure as a parent that my wife always comes first before my children, and I need to display this in front of them. When I walk in the door after work I am almost always greeted by two excited and exuberant children. It is natural to embrace them, hug them, kiss them, and revel in the passion they have for sharing their love for me. But when I do this, it is a detriment to keeping Patty and my love for her as priority over my love for my children. Carver, Cyleigh, and Carrick are a byproduct of my love for Patty. And as as much as I love them, Patty was there before they came into the world and she will still be there when they leave our house when they grow up.

I need to always show my love for Patty to my children, and they need to know that I, as their Father, have proper priorities. I am not perfect at it because many times it is extremely inconvenient, but I greet Patty and say goodbye to her first, before I embrace my children. When they are excited, I say to them, MOMMY FIRST! This helps establish the natural order of relationship for my children and helps to model how their relationship priorities should be in their marriage one day. After I greet Patty, with a hug or kiss, I greet my children and enjoy everything that comes with their excitement, most generally lots of tickling. J

I encourage you to adopt the MOMMY FIRST RULE in your home. I know this can be easy for some and very difficult for others, especially families where the parents are only staying together for the sake of their children. I will discuss more on those difficulties in my next post in a few days.

I also will post an additional post about the DADDY FIRST RULE for stay at home dad’s and families with working moms.